Sunday, October 16, 2005

instant karma's gonna git you

right after that last post i was feelin fine, fine, fine. i felt like i got out some thoughts, realsized how silly some of it was, and was excited for a good night sleep. i went to turn off the lights and get into bed with my lady, and i tripped over a fucking shoe and broke my toe. had to call out of work for two days. no healh insurance. my lady believes that it is my body telling me to slow the fuck down. i have to agree. its like all of my negative thoughts broke my toe.

so, iv'e basically been sitting around the house. and i have to say that i like it here. and i feel kinda well rested. i just have to figure out how to do that when im, you know, working. i've been reading this book, Feeling Good, (did you catch that title, Pisces....) and it is basically a cognitive therapy approach to depression. when i first started reading it, it was all "all feelings come from negative thoughts" and i saw the blinking lights of Patriarchy. it made me feel like i was supposed to deny my feeling and just Think Rationally, Son! but i recognised that as an old narrative. i know now that my feelings are very valid. what i need is a way for them to not be overwhelming. and the part that made sense in the book was that unrealistic and totalizing thoughts feed the monster of depression.

i'm so glad i broke my toe....


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's tawk depression. It is the result of us repeating unnecessary feelings over and over as a result of certain emotions, like Pavlov's dogs. We know that these feelings of worthlessness aren't true! If we can interrupt that cycle with + feelings we can understand ourselves differently.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Robert & Whitney said...

For depression I'm trying two things: The first is this book: Transformation at the Base by Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist dude. It's fantastic and is helping.

The second is cold showers. Fuck yeah!

10:05 AM  

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