Thursday, October 20, 2005

panopticon


i am suddenly feeling paralized by the very publicness of this blog. can i talk about how ive been _________ lately? or that i've been thinking about how ___________ effects my life? can i write about intimate relationships? am i willing for my life to be that public?

ugh.

this is all of the thinking that keeps me from writing in the first place. but im not quite sure how to get around it.

sometimes you see someone that you once knew, but you dont anymore and it feels like you are watching a flashback of something that never happened. and im glad i finally have a descripter for that feeling -- a flashback of something that never happened. Freud called this "uncanny." hot little etymological study he did about that word. the realized that if you run through the roots, it means both a home-like thing and something that is foreign. and that is exactly the feeling of uncanny, i think. and it is sortof where ive been at lately.

1 Comments:

Blogger PiscesProject said...

My love, it is your knowing and distance at the same time. It is familiar and comforting, yet, not quite right. It is an addiction to the familial, but a knowing that it is not what defines you.

11:13 PM  

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