Thursday, May 25, 2006

epidermic claustrophobia

but on days, like today, when i feel like i want to fucking crawl out of my skin, i get to write things like what is below (at the bottom. in italics). i have been asked starting to write a weekly "editior's pick" for The Porn Company's "for her" site. I will be writing about movies for the "for women-->by women" and the "fetish" categories.

so i have to remember that on days when i want to crawl out of my skin. that is literally the feeling, by the way. epidermic claustrophobia , i have nicknamed it.

(definition by 'wordnet,' or some such shit)...: claustrophobia n : a morbid fear of being closed in a confined space

.morbidity.

so this feels like a coming out a bit. about my day to day. about back pain. about my anxiety. about the repetitions in my head. about how i can fucking love and fucking hate a part of myself so much. oh, and about what my ovaries have to do with all of it. about how i could write all of these words but never, never, hear my voice say them out loud.

that would just be too much.

oh, here's that review/description i wrote:
The first time I saw Take This Down I needed to know more about the creator, Anna Span. This was porn like I had never seen before - real bodies and stylized bodies, real-type situations as fantasy, and real, hard dyke sex. Turns out, she started out as anti-pornography, and I think her discriminating eye was born out of that history - she wanted a world where womens sexuality is valued and catered to, and Take This Down does just that.
Take This Down taps into the power-plays that give a charge to every day relationships between women - a Butch and a Femme, a manager of a coffee shop and a barista, a star and her assistant, a temporary secretary and her boss, and a rental agent and a potential renter - and lets the sexual energy bubble over enough to get everything sticky and wet. Real-life fantasy and pleasure, big time fucking and sucking from a womans perspective, Anna Spans Take This Down revels in aspects of sex not often shown in mainstream porn - flirting as a sexy prelude to nasty fucking, domination and submission minus the whips, chains and leather, and lots and lots of orgasms.


.yes.

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